Thursday, July 9, 2009

Till Death Do Us Part???

I must admit.  I read blogs.  I am fascinated by the way people think.  Quite often, I find comments that are either very funny or on point.  Yet, lately, I am amazed by the absurdity of some of the statements people have the audacity to write for others to view.  I wanted to gauge the feelings of men and women on the Steve McNair situation and what I found has been simply unbelievable.


I didn’t know Steve McNair or much about him.  After my father passed, my willingness to rattle of the name of players and their stats went away to some degree with him.  Motherhood also limited my chance of watching games especially when other more intriguing options such as Dora the Explorer or Sponge Bob Square Pants were available. 

I remember seeing a picture of Steve McNair and over-hearing some of the discussion about his athletic ability.  I was much more impressed with his community outreach and his desire to give back to those less fortunate.


When I found out about his death, I raced to the Internet to find out about this hero that was so highly regarded.  As more information became available on the situation, I became saddened.  Steve McNair made some very bad choices.  I felt sorry for his wife and children.  They are the true victims of this tragedy.


The comments about his death are even more startling.  There were individuals who were adamant in their belief.  Comments ranged from “He deserved to die” to “If his wife was doing her job in the bedroom, this would have never happened.”  It is very seldom that I am ever speechless.  Rest assured, I was unable to articulate my feelings ranging from utter disbelief to an overwhelming sadness.  My sadness extends to our world and how our society views responsibility and love.  We’ve lost something. 


I agree Mr. McNair made a very bad decision.  Yet, in my lifetime, I must acknowledge that I have made some crappy decisions as well.  The difference is that my bad choices were not aired to the world.  The list is long of what could have been done differently.  I read one blogger state that he should have been with an older woman and that would have resulted in a different outcome.  Are you kidding??? 


My grandmother use to say if you point your finger, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you.  We all must be responsible for our actions.  Very few individuals are acknowledging that personal accountability is essential.  I’m sure there is enough blame to go around.  From other reports, this behavior was not new for Steve McNair.  The fact that he was comfortable in purchasing a vehicle and placing it in both of their names, in my opinion, demonstrates a person who apparently was not fearful of being caught. 


The mistress also had a part to play in this real life drama.  She was willing to compromise her future in order to live a life of perceived fun, excitement and notoriety.  She didn’t question what a 36 year old, millionaire would want with a 20-year-old waitress. Even if he left his wife, Mechelle, of 12 years for her, would he really remain faithful to her forever? The knowledge I have now in my late 30s is so much more than what I knew about the world at 20.   This young woman will never have the chance to experience learning from her mistakes.  She enacted a permanent solution to address a temporary problem.


I was more fascinated with the role of his friend, Wayne Neely, who upon encountering the bodies chose to call McNair’s best friend instead contacting the authorities immediately. I don’t believe he was involved in the murder but I do believe that it is odd that a married man who has a home in the same city would rent a condo with another male.  Is it possible that he had been covering up for his friend’s behavior previously?


Lives have been impacted and changed forever. Blame doesn’t change circumstances but personal accountability does.    Our society is so willing to blame and yet, we fail to take the time to recognize the role we play.  We have been given such a wonderful opportunity and that is to make choices and decide what our journey will look like.  Sure, your parents could have been complete idiots who rode the little yellow school bus and yet, as an adult, you have the power to do something different.  Sometimes doing something different requires help.  I wonder if those friends of Steve McNair would have been willing to take responsibility and not be a part of his secret life what might have happened.  Love and responsibility go together.  As humans, our lives are connected.  What happened to Steve McNair could have occurred to anyone in our lives.  The difference is in the power of the choices we make and our willingness to allow love to help us become accountable to ourselves and to each other.  For every action, there is a reaction.  Sometimes, the end result can be deadly.

No comments:

Post a Comment